When a man decides to shoot a prowler, he can’t afford to miss (from 1967)
Who wants Happy Pants?
Here’s an ad from December 1953 that inexplicably teams up the Christmas holiday, Santa, Bob Hope (upside down, no less), Hope’s movie “Here Come the Girls” and some latex diaper covers called “Happy Pants.”
Give your wife an extra head for Christmas.
Being that this ad is from 1969, the phrasing was probably intended to get a readers’ attention on several levels.
Child beats grandma
“With Betty Crocker cake mix, amateur baker bakes better cake than experienced homemaker using best two-egg recipe.” (from 1950)
So many questions! Like: Why is this lady wearing those heels to climb up a ladder? Why is this lecherous-looking Santa Claus handing her some presents while she’s still up there? And how did she even manage to get her dress hooked on the tree like that?
The old guy certainly seems to be enjoying that lingerie in this Mojud ad from 1953.
This Christmas, you’ll need a carload of Q-Tips
WIVES: Cry a little (1966)
WIVES: Look this ad over carefully. Circle the items you want for Christmas. Show it to your husband. If he does not go to a.c. carlson immediately, cry a little. Not a lot. Just a little. He’ll go. He’ll go.
HUSBANDS: Look this ad over carefully. Pick out what your wife wants. Come buy it. Before she starts to cry.
Dear Santa, Have you had the measles?
Okay, this song about the measles from 1956 gets points for being a collaboration between the great Cab Calloway and his daughter, but still…