When a man decides to shoot a prowler, he can’t afford to miss (from 1967)
Who wants Happy Pants?
Here’s an ad from December 1953 that inexplicably teams up the Christmas holiday, Santa, Bob Hope (upside down, no less), Hope’s movie “Here Come the Girls” and some latex diaper covers called “Happy Pants.”
Give your wife an extra head for Christmas.
Being that this ad is from 1969, the phrasing was probably intended to get a readers’ attention on several levels.
Child beats grandma
“With Betty Crocker cake mix, amateur baker bakes better cake than experienced homemaker using best two-egg recipe.” (from 1950)
So many questions! Like: Why is this lady wearing those heels to climb up a ladder? Why is this lecherous-looking Santa Claus handing her some presents while she’s still up there? And how did she even manage to get her dress hooked on the tree like that?
More creepy Santa-ness
The old guy certainly seems to be enjoying that lingerie in this Mojud ad from 1953.
This Christmas, you’ll need a carload of Q-Tips
WIVES: Cry a little (1966)
WIVES: Look this ad over carefully. Circle the items you want for Christmas. Show it to your husband. If he does not go to a.c. carlson immediately, cry a little. Not a lot. Just a little. He’ll go. He’ll go.
HUSBANDS: Look this ad over carefully. Pick out what your wife wants. Come buy it. Before she starts to cry.
Dear Santa, Have you had the measles?
Okay, this song about the measles from 1956 gets points for being a collaboration between the great Cab Calloway and his daughter, but still…
Last night, Grandma got loaded
Last night, Grandma got loaded in five seconds flat, and shot Uncle Henry (from December 1966)
That time the President sent cigarettes to all of his friends
“I’m sending Chesterfields to all my friends. That’s the merriest Christmas any smoker can have… – Ronald Reagan.” The actor is seen here in 1951, almost three decades before his presidency.
This Christmas, give cartons of Luckies
Who wouldn’t want a decorator pack of cigarettes?
Give the pen that burps
Of all the possible marketing angles, they chose burps?
Better than mistletoe?
In 1969, the women’s liberation movement was beginning — and, well, let’s just say that it’s unlikely a woman came up with this ad campaign concept.
Don’t let your wife face an unhappy ending to her perfect holiday meal
Oh, Santa – Why don’t you bring Sis the man she wants?
I guess they’re hoping Santa will bring some toothpaste. (From 1952)
Guess what we got you!
Mother probably thinks she’s going to get a diamond necklace. Oh, won’t she be surprised when they take off her blindfold! (From 1937)
Happier with a Hoover
We think she’d be happier with a housekeeper.
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar?
This 1957 ad features a flashing Santa, opening up wide to show off some cigars.
Pucker up, ladies
Any woman knows what to expect when she gives him the best