How to be a perfect ’50s housewife: In the kitchen

As a ’50s housewife, the kitchen was the center of your life

In reality, it probably more often looked like this

So you always needed to make enough to feed a small army

A full oven equaled a happy family. 

The ’50s housewife keeps the family guessing

While you prepare that feast, don’t let your pesky kids and husband get in the way. Put ’em outside — and yes, even your backyard is only 6 feet deep, and yes, even if it’s raining. They won’t melt!

And you will get the peace you need to make dinner for everyone while you ensure that you don’t have a single hair out of place.

That’s a kitchen of a different color

This Dorothy clicked her heels three times, and ended up alone in a kitchen she called “a nightmare,” simply because the bright blue cabinetry made her skin look sallow and was most unbecoming.

The ’50s housewife has her golden hour

Loretta here doesn’t just dress for dinner — she gets fancy and matchy-matchy just to make dinner! Tonight’s menu: Boiled cabbage and pumpkin pie.

Make your own all-you-can eat buffet

Below might be a typical weeknight dinner: Rotisserie-cooked ham, mashed potatoes, asparagus, a nifty frankfurter casserole, salad, fruit and an angel food cake. (There’s also a pot of Bearnaise sauce simmering on the stove.) Important note: Never forget to wear an apron. And pearls.

Again: An apron and pearls make the outfit perfect.

“Thank you, darling”

For the ’50s housewife/chef, your cooking was often so appreciated, you were given a golden crown — because you were just that wonderful.

Cleaning up is half the fun for the ’50s housewife

As if the food wasn’t impressive enough, well, the dishwasher was truly something worth sharing with guests. Especially when it was a fancy new top-loading dishwasher.

Dishwasher developments

Just a few years later, the front-loading dishwasher would be the “in” thing, and Georgette here couldn’t wait to get her hands on it!

Seriously – automatic dishwashers were a big deal.

Some vintage Kitchen Aid appliances – under-counter dishwashers and stand mixers

Your husband even knew that a fancy counter-height dishwasher got you in the mood.

Fun with your kitchen: Shelf edging

Appliances aside, decorating your beloved lair with joyful little flourishes was one of the greatest joys of kitchen ownership.

Extra fun times for the ’50s housewife

When you were down, there was nothing quite so uplifting as reorganizing the whole room. Since it was your lair, you could even use the oven and the floor to store items. When you have everything positioned just so, relax with a nice crossword puzzle!

Not every ’50s housewife had a perfect kitchen

As hard as she’d tried to make everything in her home match, Esmerelda’s mother-in-law had given her a set of blue dishtowels, and positively insisted that she display them prominently over the sink.

Nanette, one second before that pitcher of iced tea hit the floor

It turned out okay, though, because everyone raced to the kitchen and commented on how well her dress matched the flowers in the window and the notepad on the countertop.

“Well, Betty – you would not believe…”

Every now and then, your adoration went so deep, you completely ignored what the kids were doing in lieu of describing your homemaking happiness to the person unfortunate enough to be on the other end of the telephone.

A mere four seconds later, Edith had to hang up, because little Susan screamed like a banshee when Junior whacked her on the head with a spoonful of frosting.

Real housewives: The next generation

And when things get really, really incredible? You will know it because your teen daughter comes home after school and cooks some bacon, takes off one of her penny loafers, and sits down on your pristine kitchen floor.

Then she gazes gratefully toward the heavens as she calls her dad to thank him for working that 9-to-5 job so she and you can have the kind of gift that keeps on giving: A fabulous fifties kitchen.

MORE: How to be a perfect fifties housewife: Laundry edition