“A shag carpet toilet lid cover with matching tank cover” sounds like the answer to a question nobody asked, but that didn’t seem to matter much to our counterparts in the ’70s.
These fuzzy bathroom accessories were incredibly popular for many years, despite having little purpose other than to enhance the natural beauty of the loo. Many times, they weren’t even practical — for instance, having that much extra thickness often meant the lid wouldn’t even stay up when needed.
And then there’s the cringeworthy issue of hygiene. How do you keep such things clean in a room that’s all about water and bodily fluids?
While almost all of these carpet toilet covers were billed as being machine washable, almost everyone I talked to in the here and now agreed that there’s not enough detergent and hot water in the world to manage all the nasty stuff that would quickly inhabit these colorful home goods. (That’s assuming the owner actually washed the things regularly.)
But let’s put all that aside for now, and take a few moments to bask in the aesthetic glory of these plushy, shaggy bathroom adornments. Here, for your viewing (dis)pleasure, we present our top 10 worst fuzzy toilet cover countdown!
10. Chocolate brown fuzzy toilet covers
The “sculptured” effect on this fuzzy toilet cover doesn’t help anything, and the color — actually called “Chocolate” — well, at least you can say that some stains won’t show up on brown. It’s particularly lovely coupled with the tan toilet.
9. Astroturf green toilet covers
What’s the benefit to having it look like you’re growing a lawn in your bathroom?
8. Sunny yellow bathroom ensemble
If you don’t think you’ll get around to washing your plush bathroom accessories very often, going with a bright yellow color may be your best bet. Just don’t invite us over.
This butterfly bathroom ensemble comes in six color schemes, and the shell tone featured in the large photo is probably the least obnoxious of them all. The pile is made of “luxurious 100% nylon,” with graceful butterflies over-tufted on pile. (Side note: It seems like the butterfly on the toilet lid cover faces the wrong way.)
6. Twisted shag toilet cover for the tackiest retro bathroom decor
We call this two-tone color scheme “popcorn.” The name doesn’t help us think of this shag carpet decor any more favorably.
This set of bathroom decor accessories features aggressively large flowers thickly “over-tufted on pile.” Of all the colors — blue sea, mocha brown, moss green, sun orange, sunlight and dusty rose (shown here) — it seems like the pink would mostly be found in a girls’ bathroom, or the powder room of an older woman.
4. Cookie Monster, RIP
Dear departed Cookie Monster of Sesame Street gave his blue coat for this multi-part bathroom decor — which includes covers for the toilet paper, tissues, trash can and even the scale. (The rug in front of the toilet even looks like flattened monster feet!) But what really gives this set a place on this list is the fact that the actual toilet seat has a fuzzy cover. We’re sure it’s just great for catching drips and dribbles!
3. A blue pelt for your bathroom?
As if killing Cookie Monster weren’t enough, these bathroom rugs and toilet covers look like some long-haired blue animals gave up their fur to fuzzify this bathroom. The pile on these babies was a far-out 3-1/2 inches deep, and had to be line-dried.
2. Silly shag in bright pink for the vintage bathroom of the ’70s
This bubblegum-pink shag carpet (1-3/4 inches deep) used for the bathroom rug, tank cover and toilet lid cover make it almost look like they’re made of silly string.
1. The worst of the fuzzy toilet covers: Foxy!
Picking the worst version of this kind of home decor was tough with such a crowded field! But in the end, we have to give the top prize to this “wild and wonderful” set featuring faux fox fur. Shown here is black fox, but if your bathroom needed a different shade, you could also get it in cross fox, red fox and silver fox colors.
This weighty 2-1/4 inch-high pile of modacrylic and acrylic from 1973 could have only been more ’70s if it had been tie-dyed.
(Dis)Honorable mentions in the tacky toilet seat cover category
I saw the sign
The first two of these toilet covers — PIT STOP and EXIT — are a little too on the mark. The OFF LIMITS fuzzy cover seems like it’s sending the wrong message to people who really need to go. Finally, WOW! How do you explain that one to visitors? (And regarding the photo inset on the bottom right: Why would any kid want to hang toilet lid covers on their bedroom wall?!)