15 maxims for drivers (1903)

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Auto maxims for those who do not love the sport

1) “Swear” and “repair” are well-rhymed.

2) It’s a long lane that has no punctures.

3) Some cars go a long way in a long time.

4) To sell a car is profit, but to repair it is life.

5) Patients with patience operate a doctor’s car.

6) Truth rules everywhere but in an auto repair shop.

7) Unless you run the same machine as I do, you are no friend of mine.

>> Also see: Automobiles the safer way to travel (1910)

8) The auto has come to stay. At least some of the out-of-date ones have.

9) Where there’s a will there’s a way, but sometimes it’s mighty nice to have someone to blow up your tire.

10) Gliding along the road is heaven in its poetry of motion. Flat on one’s back in the dust-laden road is — well?

11) The reason, no doubt, that chauffeurs dislike to be passed upon the road is because the dust bothers them. Pride cuts no figure.

12) The owner of an auto is yet to be found who cannot improve his car after a week’s ownership. Yet it took a long time for the manufacturer to do so.

13) “You see, my friend, how extremely easy it is to start my machine. All I have to do is…” An hour later: “I am dead sure that some one has been monkeying with my car.”

14) The man who accepts an invitation to ride in an auto is injured, and then sues his friend for physical damages, ought to be ridden in a baby carriage or on a rail. Strange things do happen.

15) There is nothing more attractive than a handsome woman playing her own chauffeur. Grace is everywhere displayed, and men’s eyes follow her movements as a lodestar. All hail, fair driver!

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